When Mother’s Day Isn’t Your Day...YET
Mother’s Day, it turns out, was not created by that major, not to be named, greeting card company. Actually, Mother’s Day came to be through the efforts of one woman, Anna Jarvis.
Funny, not funny story about Anna.
After advocating support for Mother's Day and seeing it passed by congress in 1914, Anna became disheartened by the commercialization of the holiday she created, meant to honor her own mother.
Mother’s Day Today
Imagine what Anna would think now? If she was turned off in the 1920’s, can you just imagine how she would feel today?
And if she was disheartened by Mother’s Day, why judge yourself if you’re feeling precisely the same way?
Possible to Avoid the Mother’s Day Hype?
Unfortunately, probably not. It’s splashed all over social media, television, cable, print and billboards. It’s probably unrealistic to think that you’ll be able to wrap yourself in a protective cocoon that nothing Mother’s Day related will penetrate.
Even staying at home, unplugging from electronics and having no visitors, you’ll still know what day it is.
It’s the day you’ve been dreaming of- finally being the mother to get the slightly burnt pancake breakfast, the art project with painted little hands, being able to sleep in and the ever-present bouquet of flowers.
What’s a Mother Yet to Be to Do?
We all have coping methods and tools to get through uncomfortable and painful situations. It’s questionable if they will work for the worst of the worst, which is often how women #TTC feel about Mother’s Day.
If your typical tools don’t work, maybe it’s time to bring out the heavy artillery.
Radical Self Care!
What on earth does that mean? There are as many meanings for this phrase as there are humans on this earth. Polly Noble had some great suggestions that work for her- you may have a list of your own.
(My list of radical self-care includes a hammock, cold lemon water, a book and a pillow. And hours to enjoy them!)
Distilled down, radical self care means putting yourself first. Add leaving the guilt behind- far, far behind - and now you’ve got radical self-care.
Practice Saying No
If this is the day or the year that you have to take a step back, even from celebrating your own mother, listen to what Lisa Schuman, Director of Mental Health at RMACT says, “It’s just this one year. Your traditions can resume next year.”
This is another version of radical self-care: saying no.
This Sunday, on Mother’s Day, for all our mothers-to-be who have morning monitoring appointments or a scheduled procedure, we have a little gift. A flowering plant. In the plant, we’ll put a stake, with this line printed on it:
"Let your hopes, not your hurts, shape your future." ~Robert H. Schuller
About Lisa Rosenthal
Lisa has over thirty years of experience in the fertility field. After her personal infertility journey, she felt dissatisfied with the lack of comprehensive services available to support her. She was determined to help others undergoing fertility treatment. Lisa has been with RMACT for eleven years and serves as Patient Advocate and the Strategic Content Lead.
Lisa is the teacher and founder of Fertile Yoga, a program designed to support men and women on their quest for their families through gentle movement and meditation.
Lisa’s true passion is supporting patients getting into treatment, being able to stay in treatment and staying whole and complete throughout the process. Lisa is also a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist, which is helpful in her work with fertility patients.
Her experience also includes working with RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association and The American Fertility Association (now Path2Parenthood), where she was Educational Coordinator, Conference Director and Assistant Executive Director.