Semen Samples – How to Hit it Out of the Park
We’re a team here at Reproductive Medicine Associates of Connecticut (RMACT). And each member of the team needs to do their part.
Tips for Producing a Sperm Sample for a Semen Analysis
What happens when that feels impossible? You would think that producing a sperm sample for a semen analysis would be second nature, but alas, that is not always so. Read on for Luke Jenusaitis’ suggestions on what to try when it’s just not working. ~ Lisa Rosenthal
Every major league baseball team tries to recruit a phenomenal pitcher, a Roger Clemens or a Randy Johnson, to get the job done and win their season. Sometimes though, that pitching arm gets tired and instead of throwing that fastball down the middle, your balls keep veering far right, or maybe to the left, or even into the ground. Something just isn’t working for you. The same thing can happen when you are trying to produce a semen specimen.
Whether you are just nervous or the dragon is only puffing smoke instead of spitting fire, here are some tips on what to do if you can’t produce a sample.
- Take a coffee break.
Just like when you feel you are slowing down at work, sometimes taking a break and having a cup-of-Joe can really be a game changer. Just as Dr. Leondires says, infertility treatment is a marathon, not a sprint (even though the male contribution definitely seems like a sprint). Another fun fact, caffeine can stimulate sperm motility, so it couldn’t hurt to put your boys in overdrive for an IUI or IVF/ICSI.
- Switch things up.
A changeup is an extremely useful technique in baseball. By deceiving the batter, the pitcher gains the advantage and the same could be said for deceiving your own senses of stimulation. Everyone has their own personal favorite subgenres that usually get the train leaving the station, but it doesn’t hurt to explore other interests. For you ‘How I Met Your Mother’ fans, Barney Stinson had it right, “NEW IS ALWAYS BETTER,” at least in the case of porn.
- Use the home field advantage.
In your home stadium, with either thousands of fans or just your significant other cheering you on, sometimes that can be the trick. Switching from baseball to football for a quick second, Kirk Cousins throws way better at home in Landover than on the road and he knows it. Use every advantage available to you. You are absolutely welcome to produce at home and bring it in. Just make sure that you make an appointment so you’re not coming out of left field.
- Performance enhancing drugs.
While doping scandals might have plagued athletes from Barry Bonds to Lance Armstrong, in many ways destroying their careers; here if you need a little boost to help get the blood flowing, don’t be afraid to ask! We encourage it! We offer a little blue pill, vitamin V(iagra), as an alternative if the al-natural thoughts and stimulations just aren’t working for you on your Tour de Fertility.
If problems continue, remember mind over matter. If you stress yourself out before the big event, you might not perform as well as you’d like. If you are like me, you’ve essentially been training since you hit puberty. Just relax and everything will work out!
Have a question or concern you want to address? Shoot me an email: Ljenusaitis@rmact.com – chances are, you are not the only one.
About Luke Jenusaitis
Luke works in the Andrology and Endocrinology lab at Reproductive Medicine Associates of Connecticut (RMACT). He received his undergraduate degree in Biology and Near Eastern Studies from Johns Hopkins University. Originally from Branford, CT, Luke aspires to attend medical school and continue working in patient care. His experience includes working in the Autopsy Program of Pathology at Yale University. A recent contributor to PathtoFertility, he hopes to alleviate some of the tensions that arise from a misinterpreted social taboo.