Superbowl Sunday Has Come and Gone. What About Infertility?
Infertility SupportCertain seasons and celebrations are tougher than others when it comes to infertility. The need for infertility support can tackle us when we’re on guard and sack us when we least expect it. Most of us expect Thanksgiving to be a tough holiday when having trouble conceiving. Giving thanks when we are feeling like one of the most basic, major goals in our lives is not possible, stretches most of us.
New Year's too, another new year without the baby in our arms. Definitely a tough one. Okay, and birthdays. And reunions, almost forgot about them. But Super Bowl blues? How come Super Bowl? What makes that a tough holiday? Maybe it's the gatherings, Super Bowl parties, victory dances? Maybe it’s the idea of winners and losers? I'm going with the last one.
Fertility ProblemsNo one wants to feel like a loser. Even those among us who are not all that competitive don't want to think of themselves as losers. Some of us can't stand being seen in another person's eyes as a loser. Fertility problems made me feel like a loser. The winners were over there. Cooing and oohing and aahing over baby feet, baby hands, baby clothes, baby names, baby shoes—and more.
They were the winners. Some of them were easy winners: those who got pregnant on their honeymoon; those who didn't really mean it quite yet, but oh, well, it happened; those who weren't quite ready, but are resigned to it. Those are the easy winners.
Most of the winners took a few months, some worried after one or two months, but after that, they were firmly in the winners’ circle too. No fertility problems for them. And there I was. Firmly in the losers circle. First time I ever felt like a loser. Didn't like it. Didn't like it at all. Didn't like how it made me feel about myself or my husband. Or anyone else for that matter. Made me angry, resentful and sad.
Fertility HelpFeeling like a loser made it very difficult to celebrate with the winners. It made it very difficult to participate in their joy. Because although their winning did not create my losing, I felt like it did. But I was wrong. Thank goodness, I was wrong. Fertility help, both physical and emotional, opened my eyes to a whole new perspective—on my own life and on how I judge others. My friends and family having their babies did not make me a loser. Neither did infertility. Infertility was a true test of my self-esteem. My only failure? That I felt like one.
If you are feeling like a loser because of infertility, stick around. There's plenty more to come in terms of fertility support, encouragement and even a laugh now and then.
About Lisa Rosenthal
Lisa has over thirty years of experience in the fertility field. After her personal infertility journey, she felt dissatisfied with the lack of comprehensive services available to support her. She was determined to help others undergoing fertility treatment. Lisa has been with RMACT for eleven years and serves as Patient Advocate and the Strategic Content Lead.
Lisa is the teacher and founder of Fertile Yoga, a program designed to support men and women on their quest for their families through gentle movement and meditation.
Lisa’s true passion is supporting patients getting into treatment, being able to stay in treatment and staying whole and complete throughout the process. Lisa is also a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist, which is helpful in her work with fertility patients.
Her experience also includes working with RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association and The American Fertility Association (now Path2Parenthood), where she was Educational Coordinator, Conference Director and Assistant Executive Director.