When Getting Pregnant is a Waiting Game
Waiting? Making a baby when it’s taking longer than usual almost always means a lot of waiting.
What do I mean by waiting?
What do we really mean by waiting?
We mean getting answers. We mean we have 9,999,999 questions and we wish, with all our hearts, that we had the answers right this minute. And because we don’t, we wait.
Waiting to Get Pregnant During Fertility Treatment
Here’s a simple list, about waiting, from the very beginning:
You may be waiting for your first consultation with your OB/Gyn because it’s taking longer than you think might be in the average range to become pregnant.
You may be waiting for a referral to a board certified Reproductive Endocrinologist, (a fertility specialist- REI). Then you may be waiting for the appointment with the REI.
You may be waiting for initial blood results- what’s your AMH or FSH? (AMH- anti Mullerian hormone; FSH- follicle stimulating hormone, both blood tests that are the best predictors of female fertility available now.)
Waiting for your period. Seriously? Who wants their period when we’re trying to get pregnant?! Answer? We do. We want to get our period so that we can start a fertility treatment cycle. (Please note that if you have either an irregular period or a period that is completely missing in action, you can begin fertility treatment, it may take another step.)
Waiting to get off the birth control pill. Sometimes we take birth control pills, to bring on our periods or regulate hormone levels.
What were the blood results from the blood draw? Are the medications working the way your medical team was hoping? Do you need to increase, decrease or stay the same? When are they going to call?
You went in for morning monitoring and you saw follicles (egg filled sacs). The doctor told you how many. Is that enough? Are they large enough, too large? What does it mean about medication for tonight? Do I have to come in for another ultrasound tomorrow instead of the next day?
And on and on and on. And on.
To hear whether the eggs fertilized. Whether the sperm count was high enough and the sperm were the right shape.
Did the embryo cells continue to multiply?
Do I have enough or too many eggs to continue on my IUI cycle (intra uterine insemination)?
Questions After Chromosomal Testing
We wait to find out if the embryos are chromosomally “normal”. Do they have the right amount of chromosomes, in the right places in the right order?
How many made it through the process?
How many are normal?
Will there be enough?
Throughout every process and procedure, there is waiting. And questions.
And it’s hard to contain. We keep a lid on how anxious and excited we are- and it starts simmering. And the bubbles getting bigger and stronger and higher.
And sometimes boiling over.
We are here to help. The first way we can help is to listen to you and to remind you that we are here to listen to you. So, tell us. Tell us your truth. Let us help you.
We’re here to listen to you. And help you through what we know is a complicated and often emotionally challenging time.
Next? We’ll give you some ideas next week on how to wait without boiling over. There are some ways that you can remain feeling calmer. More content.
Even when calm or content is unavailable to you, we will wait with you. That’s our commitment to you.
About Lisa Rosenthal
Lisa has over thirty years of experience in the fertility field. After her personal infertility journey, she felt dissatisfied with the lack of comprehensive services available to support her. She was determined to help others undergoing fertility treatment. Lisa has been with RMACT for eleven years and serves as Patient Advocate and the Strategic Content Lead.
Lisa is the teacher and founder of Fertile Yoga, a program designed to support men and women on their quest for their families through gentle movement and meditation.
Lisa’s true passion is supporting patients getting into treatment, being able to stay in treatment and staying whole and complete throughout the process. Lisa is also a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist, which is helpful in her work with fertility patients.
Her experience also includes working with RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association and The American Fertility Association (now Path2Parenthood), where she was Educational Coordinator, Conference Director and Assistant Executive Director.