We Remember – Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day
On this day of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance, we remember. We remember our hopes. Our dreams.
We remember our babies as fathers and as mothers. We remember what we have lost and we honor those losses.
There is no one poem or story or ballad that can express the feelings of everyone who grieves. Our grief and pain is unique and individual to each and every one of us. Our loss, whether of a much wanted pregnancy or a child born too early or a child taken suddenly hurts us specifically because we are each distinct individuals.
I would not presume to think that I have picked wisely the following words of comfort. I am sharing here the words that comforted me during the hottest, most intense moments of my pain with my miscarriages. Perhaps one of them will touch you too. I shared last, the words that I wrote.
Would you share those things or words that you found comforting? If not here, then email me please at FertileYoga@gmail.com. I would welcome your thoughts and what touched you.
Words of Comfort – Remembering Those We Lost
Your body is away from me.
But there is a window open from my heart to yours.
From this window, like the moon I keep sending news secretly.
Just For Today For Bereaved Parents
Just for today I will try to live through the next 24 hours
and not expect to get over my child's death,
but instead learn to live with it, just one day at a time.
Just for today I will remember my child's life, not just her death,
and bask in the comfort of all those treasured days
and moments we shared.
Just for today I will forgive all the family and friends
who didn't help or comfort me the way I needed them to.
They truly did not know how.
Just for today I will smile no matter how much I hurt on the inside,
for maybe if I smile a little,
my heart will soften and I will begin to heal.
Just for today I will reach out to comfort a relative or friend of my child,
for they are hurting too,
and perhaps we can help each other.
Just for today I will free myself from my self-inflicted burden of guilt,
for deep in my heart I know if there was anything in this world
I could of done to save my child from death,
I would of done it.
Just for today I will honor my child's memory
by doing something with another child
because I know that would make my own child proud.
Just for today I will offer my hand in friendship
to another bereaved parent
for I do know how they feel.
Just for today when my heart feels like breaking,
I will stop and remember that grief is the price we pay for loving
and the only reason I hurt is because
I had the privilege of loving so much
Just for today I will not compare myself with others.
I am fortunate to be who I am
and have had my child for as long as I did.
Just for today I will allow myself to be happy,
for I know that I am not deserting her by living on.
Just for today I will accept that I did not die when my child did,
my life did go on,
and I am the only one who can make that life worthwhile once more.
Twirling, spinning leaves of autumn color
Falling to the ground
Grasp me back in memory
Of that time
My lost baby
Our lost baby
So wanted, so cherished, so adored
I remember, with love
I remember with devotion
I remember with persistence
Honoring our baby who only ever lay within me, who only I could hold
With a lit candle
For the child that she never became
About Lisa Rosenthal
Lisa has over thirty years of experience in the fertility field. After her personal infertility journey, she felt dissatisfied with the lack of comprehensive services available to support her. She was determined to help others undergoing fertility treatment. Lisa has been with RMACT for eleven years and serves as Patient Advocate and the Strategic Content Lead.
Lisa is the teacher and founder of Fertile Yoga, a program designed to support men and women on their quest for their families through gentle movement and meditation.
Lisa’s true passion is supporting patients getting into treatment, being able to stay in treatment and staying whole and complete throughout the process. Lisa is also a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist, which is helpful in her work with fertility patients.
Her experience also includes working with RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association and The American Fertility Association (now Path2Parenthood), where she was Educational Coordinator, Conference Director and Assistant Executive Director.