Was Infertility a Message from the Universe or God That I Was Not Meant to Be a Mother?
When I found out that I had a translocation (a gene mutation) I felt like God or the universe might be trying to tell me that I wasn’t meant to be a mom. I have a holistic mentality and I believe that if things don’t happen naturally, then perhaps they weren’t meant to happen at all.
When I was younger and learned about Taoism, I came across their concept of Wu Wei - natural action-or in other words, action that does not involve struggle or excessive effort. I’ve learned to implement this philosophy in my personal life by frequently asking myself, “am I going with the flow, or am I spinning my wheels and ferociously trying to swim upstream?”
Wu Wei has saved me so many times in my life and when I use it as a mantra, it has helped me to let go of situations that I don’t have control over anyway. By letting go, beautiful things have fallen into place and I, in turn, have grown from the experience.
My Interpretation of a Infertiliy Diagnosis
Adhering to this philosophy and ignoring the translocation would have meant having multiple miscarriages probably never becoming a mother. Infertility caused me a great moral dilemma and challenged the inner parts of my soul. I felt in my gut that I was meant to be a mom, but that countered my belief that everything is exactly as it should be and that there is a reason for everything. My initial interpretation of my infertility diagnosis (Robertsonian translocation and PCOS) was that God or the universe was trying to keep me from having children.
After a lot of self-reflection and guidance from friends, family, and mentors I realized that my interpretation of the events happening in my life could be seen from a different perspective. I ended up working at Reproductive Medicine Associates of Connecticut (RMACT) and discovering my infertility diagnosis by chance because God or the universe was trying to spare me heartache of multiple miscarriages and provide me with the resources so that I could become a mom. I mean, what were the odds that I would end up working at RMACT, exactly the place that would show me how to handle the type of infertility I was experiencing? I now believe that God had a guiding hand on my shoulder and that I was always meant to be a mother, with the medical attention and intervention that was necessary.
Infertility Challenges Reveal New Meanings
I shared this personal experience because I can imagine that infertility challenges all of us in ways that sometimes we don’t find easy to talk about. For me, pursuing fertility treatment challenged my beliefs in a way that I couldn’t have anticipated.
Whatever your beliefs are, my advice to you is to be open to seeing things in a different way than you typically look at them. The miracle that you need may be right in front of you. It was for me.
About Kate Doyle
As RMACT’s New Patient Liaison, Kate Doyle is the first person who speaks with patients before they schedule their initial appointment. Kate recently started contributing to RMACT’s blog, PathToFertility.com. In “Kate’s Corner” she shares her perspective on topics that interest new patients. This glimpse into fertility treatment gives readers a candid knowledge and insightful tips. Kate started at RMACT as a Patient Navigator in January 2013, which is when she learned that she enjoyed guiding patients through the ups and downs of treatment. Her current position enables her to work with patients at the onset of treatment when they need help bringing their limited understanding of infertility into focus.