Unexplained Infertility – Questions I Asked Myself
I remember waking up and bursting into tears after a diagnostic laparoscopy. My reproductive endocrinologist thought I was crazy.
All the news was good.
No signs of scar tissue.
Tubes were open.
No signs of current or previous infections.
Everything healthy and beautiful.
And still no answers.
No more information than we had before.
Undiagnosed infertility. Idiopathic infertility.
Not that nothing is wrong, just that they can’t figure out what’s wrong.
Burst into tears.
I wanted an answer.
Something to fix.
It was true, that in that moment, a bad answer was better than no answer.
And so we kept on.
No answer but lots of questions.
What can we do differently?
What other tests can we perform?
What treatments out there have worked for others in my situation?
Will my insurance cover anything given that we can’t identify the problem?
How long is it reasonable to keep trying without knowing the answer?
Do I need a better doctor?
What’s wrong with me?
What’s wrong with him?
What’s wrong with us?
Will this ever work?
Will I ever become pregnant?
Will I be the last one in the waiting room after everyone else becomes pregnant?
Will I be the only leaving without a baby?
What hope do I hold onto?
Will I ever become a mother?
My only answer was to hold on.
Hold on to light.
Hold on to hope.
Hold on to love.
Hold on to those I love.
About Lisa Rosenthal
Lisa has over thirty years of experience in the fertility field. After her personal infertility journey, she felt dissatisfied with the lack of comprehensive services available to support her. She was determined to help others undergoing fertility treatment. Lisa has been with RMACT for eleven years and serves as Patient Advocate and the Strategic Content Lead.
Lisa is the teacher and founder of Fertile Yoga, a program designed to support men and women on their quest for their families through gentle movement and meditation.
Lisa’s true passion is supporting patients getting into treatment, being able to stay in treatment and staying whole and complete throughout the process. Lisa is also a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist, which is helpful in her work with fertility patients.
Her experience also includes working with RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association and The American Fertility Association (now Path2Parenthood), where she was Educational Coordinator, Conference Director and Assistant Executive Director.