Teetering Between Infertility & Fertility – Accepting Yourself
Standing on one foot can challenge anyone’s sense of balance. Close your eyes and those feelings of being off-balance intensify. Even this simple balancing act can feel overwhelming.
I love teaching this asana (pose) because it is humbling. It reminds me that it’s not just handstands or headstands that can be hard to navigate.
Sometimes it’s standing on one foot with my eyes closed.
Fertility treatment can be that way too. Even standing with both feet firmly planted on the ground, eyes wide open, ears unlocked, mind and brain available, hearing about your fertility potential can nudge you off balance.
It’s just not what most of us expect. We don’t expect to hear that having a baby will be more difficult that we thought it would be.
Accepting Infertility & Yourself
We don’t expect to hear that this isn’t working quite right or that isn’t quite doing what it’s supposed to or simply that there’s no explanation why becoming pregnant isn’t happening, it’s just not. Our bodies, minds and hearts seem, if not perfect, than pretty darned good. Young enough, healthy enough, strong enough, stable enough. Even with our beautiful imperfections that actually make us who we are.
We come to despise those imperfections though, don’t we? Those imperfections, identified or not, that prevent us from our desired goal – our babies. We don’t embrace those imperfections, we dislike them at best. Despise them. Hate them is probably closer to how we feel. We don’t see them like we see our other idiosyncrasies, like the size of this body part or the shape of that one.
Far from embracing our fertility imperfections, they are the obstacles in our way of obtaining our goal of our family.
That seems inevitable, unfortunately. And at the risk of pissing you off, I’m going to make a suggestion.
Try making friends with this body and the particular parts that you are upset with; your body, your parts. Send them a little love and affection. Chances are, it will give you a few moments of release from the choke hold that you find yourself in emotionally.
Coping With Infertility & Finding Acceptance
Here are some affirmations that may bridge the path from anger and disgust to a sense of acceptance.
- I breathe in love and breathe out tolerance.
- The universe holds me gently and lovingly.
- My center is solid, strong and stable.
- Loving myself is my choice.
- I recognize the place that resides in me that is whole, unbroken and perfect.
About Lisa Rosenthal
Lisa has over thirty years of experience in the fertility field. After her personal infertility journey, she felt dissatisfied with the lack of comprehensive services available to support her. She was determined to help others undergoing fertility treatment. Lisa has been with RMACT for eleven years and serves as Patient Advocate and the Strategic Content Lead.
Lisa is the teacher and founder of Fertile Yoga, a program designed to support men and women on their quest for their families through gentle movement and meditation.
Lisa’s true passion is supporting patients getting into treatment, being able to stay in treatment and staying whole and complete throughout the process. Lisa is also a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist, which is helpful in her work with fertility patients.
Her experience also includes working with RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association and The American Fertility Association (now Path2Parenthood), where she was Educational Coordinator, Conference Director and Assistant Executive Director.