#StartAsking Infertility & Fertility Questions – Why Me? That Was My First
#STARTASKING Infertility questions
Here was my first one, but definitely not the last.
That was my favorite question about stupid infertility.
It turned out a better question was, why not me?
One in eight couples, so why not me?
Why not you?
Is there anything that guarantees no infertility?
It would be so lovely if that were true.
Anything at all that you can do to ensure that you will never face baby-making problems?
You can eat healthy.
Avoid sexually transmitted diseases.
Exercise, but not too much.
Drink water and not too much caffeine or alcohol.
Start early enough that you never hear the words “advanced maternal age”.
You can do all this and way more. You can be careful. You can be extra careful. You can be aware and extra, extra careful.
And it won’t matter. At least not entirely.
This is good news.
Because you can stop blaming yourself.
Infertility is a Disease
Side track from our questions for a moment. Just for a momentary rant. Infertility is a disease. I hear a lot of push back on that word these days. Dis ease. I fought for infertility to be declared a disease. Not because we’re diseased or that we need to see ourselves as diseased. We don’t need to see ourselves that way.
But we do need to call it a disease. Because then we can argue for infertility insurance coverage. We can even expect and insist on insurance coverage. And we call it a disease because our reproductive systems are not working properly. That’s why it’s a dis ease. In fact, here’s the definition of dis-ease:
a disorder of structure or function in a human, animal, or plant, especially one that produces specific signs or symptoms or that affects a specific location and is not simply a direct result of physical injury.
I get why the term fertility is so much more positive. I get it and I fought for us to reclaim that word– fertile. We can use them both. We can use the word infertility to describe the clinical and medical attributes and we can use fertility to define us. Us. We are fertile people dealing with infertility. We are fertile people because fertility is not only defined as an ability to have children but also as an ability to grow and learn. To become healthy.
And? It’s such a good idea to take care of ourselves; it's imperative for getting pregnant and staying in a healthy pregnancy, so please do take good care of yourself.
Infertility Questions Continued
Continuing with #STARTASKING infertility questions:
How about it’s both? It’s infertility and since we are reclaiming our fertility, using everything we can, including medical fertility treatment, it’s also about fertility. Here was how my line of questioning went.
Why me? Why me at 26, for no apparent reason, did I have fertility problems?
That was my fertility question. Then it got more involved.
What was my fertility problem?
When was my fertility problem going to get solved? Or cured?
And the hardest question of all.
Was my fertility problem going to get solved?
Was I ever going to be pregnant successfully?
Was I ever going to have a baby?
Was it going to be me in my group that wasn’t going to have a baby?
There’s a reason that Resolve chose #STARTASKING as a theme for National Infertility Awareness Week this year. Because isn’t that our bottom line question?
Will I ever get pregnant?
#STARTASKING your fertility questions right now.
Asking the questions is the best beginning.
Then we can dig in to find the answers.
About Lisa Rosenthal
Lisa has over thirty years of experience in the fertility field. After her personal infertility journey, she felt dissatisfied with the lack of comprehensive services available to support her. She was determined to help others undergoing fertility treatment. Lisa has been with RMACT for eleven years and serves as Patient Advocate and the Strategic Content Lead.
Lisa is the teacher and founder of Fertile Yoga, a program designed to support men and women on their quest for their families through gentle movement and meditation.
Lisa’s true passion is supporting patients getting into treatment, being able to stay in treatment and staying whole and complete throughout the process. Lisa is also a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist, which is helpful in her work with fertility patients.
Her experience also includes working with RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association and The American Fertility Association (now Path2Parenthood), where she was Educational Coordinator, Conference Director and Assistant Executive Director.