Replacing New Year’s Resolutions with #OneSmallChange
Can we go from infertile to fertile? Can we go from being babyless to babyful? (I just made that one up, I kind of like it though.)
We are capable of making changes. We grow. We learn things. We make changes.
We are capable of changes. Rationally, we know this. We even see this. We also see patterns, where change feels almost or even impossible. Where despite any strong resolve on our part, we do it again. Whatever it is.
New Year’s is the time for resolutions. We tend to make large, sweeping promises to ourselves. Sometimes to others, but mainly to ourselves.
Types of New Year's Resolutions
New Year’s Resolutions are divided into two categories, for the most part.
1. Things we want to stop doing:
- Over indulging
- Binge watching TV
- Eating badly
- Sitting rather than walking
- Stop drinking alcohol
- Stop smoking or participating in other unhealthy practices
- Letting stress overwhelm us
- Fighting with XXXX
2. Things we want to start doing:
- Eating in a healthy way
- Enjoying our lives
- Finding new hobbies that feel good
- Seeing friends and family
And we want to do it ALL. All or nothing. Nothing in between. Stop completely or do it NOT AT ALL.
Great big, sweeping changes.
Why New Year's Resolutions Don't Stick
I belong to a gym, (best gym ever, love Phys Ed!), where I also teach yoga classes. December is deserted in the gym, between vacations and holidays. Every year, it’s empty of even our regulars. But, oh, January. It’s packed. Attendance is at an all time high for the entire year. (Redundant, I know.) Classes are completely full, even overfull. It’s the only time of the year that you may have to wait for the weight machines. I teach to people I’ve never met before while my regular students look a little stunned by the crowds. Some of the crowd become new regulars, and most fade away by January 12th. A few stick around until January 22nd. By February 3rd, at the latest, it’s all back to normal.
New Year’s Resolutions do not prove that we are capable of making changes. In fact, they prove the opposite. They are often defeating. We take on something huge and impossible to sustain. We often make the resolutions without any foundation or framework to hold them up. Often the tools we need are not sharpened or easily at hand either. We resort back to patterns that we don’t like or admire and feel hopeless.
So there we are. Making lofty promises to ourselves, with no real way of following through with them.
We cooked up something at Reproductive Medicine Associates of Connecticut (RMACT) to address this. Talk about big goals. We, RMACT, want to change New Year’s Resolutions. We’re on a mission. And we have a plan.
We’re calling it #OneSmallChange. Small changes do prove that we are capable of making changes.
For the month of January, we have asked the RMACT team members to give their suggestions and share their inspiration with all of us. Thank you to Carrie Van Steen for dreaming this up, complete with the details about how to spread the words of wisdom that we are collecting.
Skip Your Resolutions, Instead Make One Small Change
Here’s how we’re going to spread the word. For each day of January, we will share #OneSmallChange with you. Because that’s what we see works. We make a small change and those changes build up. A few minutes a day feels sustainable. One thing each that that we can try on, see how it fits. Manageable.
Most of us can do something for a few minutes each day. Or stop doing something for a few minutes each day. Lessen or increase. Not all or nothing.
We would love to hear one small change that makes sense to you. Is it physical? Is it adding something to your day or adding something because you’re subtracting something. Is it manageable?
Starting tomorrow! #OneSmallChange
For me? I’m going to teach a class I don’t normally teach at my beloved gym. Get in there and perhaps assist someone with their New Year’s Resolution. Maybe give them the message about one small change.
What about you? What small thing would you like to try for January 1st?
About Lisa Rosenthal
Lisa has over thirty years of experience in the fertility field. After her personal infertility journey, she felt dissatisfied with the lack of comprehensive services available to support her. She was determined to help others undergoing fertility treatment. Lisa has been with RMACT for eleven years and serves as Patient Advocate and the Strategic Content Lead.
Lisa is the teacher and founder of Fertile Yoga, a program designed to support men and women on their quest for their families through gentle movement and meditation.
Lisa’s true passion is supporting patients getting into treatment, being able to stay in treatment and staying whole and complete throughout the process. Lisa is also a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist, which is helpful in her work with fertility patients.
Her experience also includes working with RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association and The American Fertility Association (now Path2Parenthood), where she was Educational Coordinator, Conference Director and Assistant Executive Director.