Infertility is an Actionable Challenge
At twenty-six, I had an excellent prognosis to become pregnant. I had unexplained infertility and everything looked beautiful and healthy.
Every fertility test came back negative and further reassured my doctors, my husband and myself that becoming pregnant should be relatively easy with or without the tools that we had at hand. That’s not exactly how it went.
Infertility – You Want Answers
Unexplained infertility has a clinical name. It’s idiopathic infertility.
There’s another non-clinical name that I used frequently.
“Don’t know what the hell it is” infertility.
Which it turns out is not the same as “there is nothing wrong” infertility.
It turns out that it’s “we don’t have tests sensitive enough to detect the problem yet” infertility.
I prayed for an answer. Any answer.
Just give me an answer!
A bad answer is better than no answer.
Yeah, I do actually know that sounds crazy.
Infertility is crazy making.
No answers is crazy making.
Being told everything is fine and everything should work beautifully while in you're in the third year of no baby is crazy making.
So yeah, hoping for a bad answer is crazy.
Hoping for something to fix is not crazy.
Rephrasing it that way is actually understandable. Maybe even sane.
Identifying a problem and finding a solution is what we all do. Assuming that there is a solution is hopeful, sane and actionable.
Actionable. It’s a new favorite word of mine. I’m a thinker. A ponderer.
I like to consider, ruminate and dig deep. And I can do it for a long, long time. Lengthy is a good word. Prolonged and protracted are other good words.
And that’s all fine. Better than fine, it’s my process. I respect it.
I surround myself with people who attend to the concrete things in life. My husband is a rock. He takes care of the things that I overlook as I ponder the ramifications of choices. He just does it. And if he didn’t, I would likely be living in a hovel. We make a good team. And I don’t mean to suggest that he’s not thoughtful. Because he is, he just takes a much shorter time to get certain places than I do. And he appreciates my process. We are a good team.
Take Action on Your Fertility Questions
There’s a time where action is needed. Even non-action becomes action. Right? Processing can turn into delaying. And delaying can turn into some choices no longer being options.
We get that.
When action is needed, let’s get on it. If it’s time to make an appointment for the dentist (who I hate seeing even though my dentist is the coolest guy and I love seeing him and he rarely hurts anything in my ultra sensitive mouth), it’s time to make the appointment. Not to think about. Or consider.
Just make the appointment. Get in the car and go.
What are you processing? Have you taken the time that you need to consider and reflect? Is it time for a decision? Is it time for action? By not making a decision, are you making a decision?
How can we help? Do you have some questions that you need answered about fertility treatment or fertility potential?
I’ll make you a deal. You email me your questions at FertileYoga@gmail.com I’ll keep your questions anonymous and I’ll give them to the appropriate fertility specialist (board certified Reproductive Endocrinologist, fertility nurse, nutritionist or fertility counselor). I’ll get you the answers and email them to you privately.
Mine for the day.
Take me up on it.
About Lisa Rosenthal
Lisa has over thirty years of experience in the fertility field. After her personal infertility journey, she felt dissatisfied with the lack of comprehensive services available to support her. She was determined to help others undergoing fertility treatment. Lisa has been with RMACT for eleven years and serves as Patient Advocate and the Strategic Content Lead.
Lisa is the teacher and founder of Fertile Yoga, a program designed to support men and women on their quest for their families through gentle movement and meditation.
Lisa’s true passion is supporting patients getting into treatment, being able to stay in treatment and staying whole and complete throughout the process. Lisa is also a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist, which is helpful in her work with fertility patients.
Her experience also includes working with RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association and The American Fertility Association (now Path2Parenthood), where she was Educational Coordinator, Conference Director and Assistant Executive Director.