How Does Father's Day Feel To the Men?
Reflections on Father’s day. Our beautiful women at Ladies Night In last night helped me with today’s blog. I can picture them sitting right here beside me.
Making me laugh so hard that tears rolled down my face.
Yes, in a peer support group for infertility. Very serious stuff. Must be lots of tears. Lots of very heavy, serious conversation.
Laughed so hard I cried. Three times.
Serious stuff with a sense of humor even when the sense of humor was completely missing when they walked in the room. What a lucky woman I am to be able to be with women in this way. Thank you RMACT for supporting Ladies Night In. Thank you to Dr’s Leondires, Richlin, Hurwitz, Murdock and Williams. Special thank you to Carrie Van Steen and Robin Mangieri and all our team members.
Questions for Men on Infertility & Father's Day
So Father’s Day.
What are you doing to take care of the man in your life?
Do you know how he feels about this coming Sunday?
Do you know what he wants to do?
Do you know if he’s aware that it’s Father’s Day?
I love my women from last night, with a ferocious love that is quite genuine. And I’m going to stick my neck out and possibly piss some people off.
You don’t know if you don’t ask.
You don’t know based on how he felt last year.
You don’t know because he hasn’t said anything.
The only assumption you can make, in my opinion, is that he knows that it’s Father’s Day. With all the reminders out there in the media, it’s almost impossible not to know.
I listened to all the assumptions last night with a healthy dose of skepticism.
Offering Men Infertility Support
If you want to know how they feel about Father's Day, ask. Then listen to the answer. Then ask them if you understand their answer. Then ask them more about it. They may not want to talk about it. Listen to them tell you that. Look at their faces. Look at their shoulders. Look at them.
Deep into their eyes. Look at them.
What are they saying? What are they not saying?
Our men will have all sorts of feelings about this day coming up. And I know, they may not want to talk about it. They may only answer you with one word. Fine, good, ok. Those are some personal favorites in my house.
That’s ok. Ask anyway.
Our hope is that these men will be fathers someday. Fathers to our children. Ask them how they’re doing. Listen to their answers.
Treat them like the fathers that we dream that they will be.
About Lisa Rosenthal
Lisa has over thirty years of experience in the fertility field. After her personal infertility journey, she felt dissatisfied with the lack of comprehensive services available to support her. She was determined to help others undergoing fertility treatment. Lisa has been with RMACT for eleven years and serves as Patient Advocate and the Strategic Content Lead.
Lisa is the teacher and founder of Fertile Yoga, a program designed to support men and women on their quest for their families through gentle movement and meditation.
Lisa’s true passion is supporting patients getting into treatment, being able to stay in treatment and staying whole and complete throughout the process. Lisa is also a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist, which is helpful in her work with fertility patients.
Her experience also includes working with RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association and The American Fertility Association (now Path2Parenthood), where she was Educational Coordinator, Conference Director and Assistant Executive Director.