The Silent Woman - A Single Mom to Be?
Recognizing A Single Mom to Be
RMACT has launched a new website; one that we’ve devoted a lot of time, energy, tender thoughts and, yes, money to: SingleMomstoBe. I know that I’ve shared this before, just a little while ago and I want to share it again and again and again.
We spent the time to create the website for those women out there that are ready to create their families, without a partner. You may know women like that and not even realize it. It could be your single friend or family member. I don’t advocate asking overly and overtly personal questions. I trust your judgment to be as sensitive with her as we all want people to be about our fertility and infertility challenges. We know what it’s like to be bombarded by people making assumptions and asking questions or making comments that feel like they hit right to the core of our hearts.
We don‘t want to do that to others. We do want to share this wonderful resource and place that was created for women who are considering this path to parenthood. So no poking and prodding, please. Maybe just have your radar up that our single friends may be as interested in becoming parents as we are, and that in some ways their struggles are very similar to ours and in some ways they are not.
Becoming A Single Mother
If they are women hoping to become moms or starting to explore the idea of becoming a single mother without a partner, this could be an opportunity for you to share your story. Maybe it’s not someone who knows that you’re struggling. Consider that you would be doing a real service for someone who could be feeling isolated, lonely, and afraid of what her path is going to look like. Just as we often feel, with our own fertility and infertility problems.
What if you sharing your story opened up her world? Given the beating our self-esteem often takes with infertility, how good would you feel about yourself then?
It makes me think of our Ladies Night In peer support groups. Carrie Van Steen and I have the honor and privilege of facilitating these groups three times a month (in Danbury, Norwalk and Trumbull). The comfort, support, laughter, and genuine affection are palpable in these groups.
Spreading that further afield by keeping our eyes and hearts open to someone who may be hurting from a similar situation makes all of us bigger and brighter. Even in our darkest moments of infertility, we can be there for someone else. We can make that decision.
Wanting A Child - Share Your Story
So I offer you this challenge. Be aware of this other woman or group of women. They may be very quiet about wanting a child. They may never bring it up or mention it. They may become silent in conversations about babies or trying to conceive.
Open your heart to her as you would want someone to do for you. Speak to her privately. Don’t ask her questions. Share your own story. Open the door to a conversation and see what you can do about helping her.
The rewards will be twofold. She may feel relief and comfort. And so will you.
Follow Lisa on Google+
About Lisa Rosenthal
Lisa has over thirty years of experience in the fertility field. After her personal infertility journey, she felt dissatisfied with the lack of comprehensive services available to support her. She was determined to help others undergoing fertility treatment. Lisa has been with RMACT for eleven years and serves as Patient Advocate and the Strategic Content Lead.
Lisa is the teacher and founder of Fertile Yoga, a program designed to support men and women on their quest for their families through gentle movement and meditation.
Lisa’s true passion is supporting patients getting into treatment, being able to stay in treatment and staying whole and complete throughout the process. Lisa is also a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist, which is helpful in her work with fertility patients.
Her experience also includes working with RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association and The American Fertility Association (now Path2Parenthood), where she was Educational Coordinator, Conference Director and Assistant Executive Director.