Fertility Commitments to Myself - Infertility Support
Fertility Commitments to Myself
With infertility, I spent so much time--seeing myself for what I did not have, what I was not, what I could not do. That was what I saw and felt when I looked in the mirror; what reflected back to me was what I could not do. What I was not.
I was not fertile. I was not enough. I could not do what I was designed to do; born to do. I could not do what I so deeply and genuinely dreamed of; conceiving a baby.
I spent enough time in fertility treatment that I got tired of that view. Eventually, I chose to look at myself differently. It took diligence and time. There were plenty of slip ups and back sliding. I persisted. I made the commitment to myself to see something different in the mirror.
Here were some of the choices that I made in looking at myself. Some of them I made more frequently than others. Some I repeated every single day. Some I repeated several times a day. Some I literally chanted in the morning and evening.
Infertility Support - A List of Reminders
I found it comforting to remind myself that I was more than infertility or fertility treatment.
Here were the things that I chose to see about myself; that I chose to say, in the most loving possible way:
I will hold myself up tall, with pride
I will think well of myself and my partner
I will remember that I am a whole person, not an infertility diagnosis or a sperm count
I will remind myself that I have value and worth, whether I am pregnant or not, whether I am a parent or not
I will see myself as healthy and strong
I will do what I need to do to create my family
I will breathe deeply and think clearly
I will see those things in my life that I want and all ready have. I will feel gratitude
I will see how incredibly beautiful I am when I look in the mirror
I will surround myself with people who love and respect me
I will see the growth that is happening because of the circumstances that I am experiencing
I will rest and know that it will restore me
I will sleep well
I will eat healthy foods, most of the time
I will respect my body and notice all the ways in which I am healthy and vibrant
I will remind myself that I learn something about myself every day and that what I have learned about myself because of infertility is that I am strong and courageous. I know how much easier it would be to accept my infertility and remain childfree. I will remind myself that I am brave enough to move forward and farther than I thought I could in my goal of becoming a parent.
I will embrace myself as I am, in this moment; strong, vibrant, smart, funny, healthy, vital, loving, loved, gracious, grateful, confident, beautiful and fertile enough.
I am enough. Just as I am, in this moment.
What do you tell yourself?
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About Lisa Rosenthal
Lisa has over thirty years of experience in the fertility field. After her personal infertility journey, she felt dissatisfied with the lack of comprehensive services available to support her. She was determined to help others undergoing fertility treatment. Lisa has been with RMACT for eleven years and serves as Patient Advocate and the Strategic Content Lead.
Lisa is the teacher and founder of Fertile Yoga, a program designed to support men and women on their quest for their families through gentle movement and meditation.
Lisa’s true passion is supporting patients getting into treatment, being able to stay in treatment and staying whole and complete throughout the process. Lisa is also a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist, which is helpful in her work with fertility patients.
Her experience also includes working with RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association and The American Fertility Association (now Path2Parenthood), where she was Educational Coordinator, Conference Director and Assistant Executive Director.