Path to Fertility First Steps - Moaning, Complaining and Dragging Feet
Path to Fertility, Taking First Steps
I hate the first step, whether it’s on a walk, a run or a hike. Just as I detest getting out of bed in the morning. And I can’t stand going to sleep at night. Sitting down generally will mean that is where I will stay, longer than I should or than I had planned. Sorry if I blew any image of me that you have, I can be a real Debbie Downer.
It seems like it’s about the change from non-movement to movement. That shift is more emotional than physiological.
Simply put, I don’t want to move.
I stayed with a “fertility specialist” for over a year because of this characteristic of mine. I didn’t even like him. He was brusque and kind of non-communicative and always in a rush. But he was what I knew. He was what I was comfortable with; even though he wasn’t a great fit for me.
Why See a Reproductive Endocrinologist?
I was scared to make an appointment with a board certified reproductive endocrinologist (REI- Reproductive Endocrinologist & Infertility). You see that phrase often in this blog. Because I know firsthand how important it is for infertility problems to be treated by someone actually trained and experienced in the field. And yes, I want them to pass the boards--tests that they have to take to be board certified. Yes, I want them to be the best of the best of the best. This is all that REI’s do. Day in, day out, they treat infertility. Its why sometimes certain programs get the reputation of treating people like numbers. In fact, I had a Fertile Yoga student tell me the other day that in a program other than RMACT, she was actually handed a number so that she could be called in for her appointment! No one wants to be treated like she or he is just one more in a long list of numbers.
So yes, I was scared. I wanted the best of the best, but I didn’t want to be treated like just one more person in a waiting room. So I procrastinated. I stayed longer than I should have with a “fertility specialist”. I waited in waiting rooms that included many pregnant women, and not from fertility treatment. I wasn’t treated like a number, but then again, I wasn’t really being treated very well for the infertility I was experiencing either.
Finding Motivation - Waiting vs. Taking a New Approach
My younger sister says it best, in a way that I can understand and respect. She gets up at the inhuman hour of 4:30 am to work out before work. To me, that’s the middle of the night. When I complain to her that I don’t want to work out/walk/do yoga, etc., she reminds me that I don’t have to wait for the feeling of desire to come over me. She reminds me that she doesn’t sit at her dining room table, drinking her coffee and waiting for the urge to wash over her to go to the gym. She just gets up and goes anyway.
My hero. I don’t have to want to. I can even complain, whine, moan and groan while I do it. The point is that I do it. And yes, I do often whine, moan and groan on my way. Interestingly enough, I rarely complain while I’m out on that hike/run/yoga, etc. About thirty seconds into it, I am enjoying myself.
It’s really just the getting there that’s the problem.
So maybe, could I gently suggest that you stop waiting until you want to call the REI? You may never want to. I know I didn’t.
Do it anyway. All you have to do is call. We’ll help you the rest of the way, I promise. And we won’t treat you like a number, I promise you that too.
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About Lisa Rosenthal
Lisa has over thirty years of experience in the fertility field. After her personal infertility journey, she felt dissatisfied with the lack of comprehensive services available to support her. She was determined to help others undergoing fertility treatment. Lisa has been with RMACT for eleven years and serves as Patient Advocate and the Strategic Content Lead.
Lisa is the teacher and founder of Fertile Yoga, a program designed to support men and women on their quest for their families through gentle movement and meditation.
Lisa’s true passion is supporting patients getting into treatment, being able to stay in treatment and staying whole and complete throughout the process. Lisa is also a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist, which is helpful in her work with fertility patients.
Her experience also includes working with RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association and The American Fertility Association (now Path2Parenthood), where she was Educational Coordinator, Conference Director and Assistant Executive Director.