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Why Me? Why Not Me? When Infertility Is the Question Blog Feature
Lisa Rosenthal

By: Lisa Rosenthal on July 23rd, 2013

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Why Me? Why Not Me? When Infertility Is the Question

Infertility Diagnosis | Infertility Forgiveness | Support

Infertility Questions: Why Me?

Infertility QuestionsWhy me?


Why not me?


No matter how perfect someone else's life looks from the outside, guaranteed, there is struggle. Seen or unseen. Perhaps it hasn't happened yet. 


Life has struggles. 


Infertility is only one possibility. 


Poverty, other illnesses, grief and loss, and more.


We all know it.


I certainly know it. 


I was born into a family with a sister with a chronic, degenerative nerve disease. 


Why not me? 




It could have been me.


I had a fifty/fifty chance of inheriting the disease.


I was just lucky that I didn't.


I wasn't so lucky about infertility. 


That struck me right between the eyes.


And believe me, I wondered.


Why me?

How Common Is Infertility?

A few of my Fertile Yoga students have spoken up on this subject lately.


Here's what they asked.


Why not me?


Rarely, when good luck strikes do we ask why me.


Rarely do we question good health. At least on a daily, hourly basis. Or a minute to minute basis. Rarely do we question the wonderful partner or fulfilling job or lovely home.


But, oh, did I question the infertility card.


Why me.


On a daily, hourly basis.


What had I done to deserve this?


And the answer was quite simple.


Even with the mistakes that I made, this was not punishment nor payback nor divine intervention.


This was why not me.


Infertility Diagnosis: One Out of Six


Infertility strikes one out of six couples.


So why not me?


It's human nature to question why things happen. To pinpoint the reasons. Some of that is about avoiding it happening again and some of it is simply about understanding.


And some things aren't explainable. 


Why me is one question.


Why not me is another question.


Knowing the answer won't entirely explain it though. If it turns out there is an infertility diagnosis and reason, it still doesn't explain why you and not someone else.


So why not me.


Maybe that's the answer as well.


Lisa Rosenthal's Google+



About Lisa Rosenthal

Lisa has over thirty years of experience in the fertility field. After her personal infertility journey, she felt dissatisfied with the lack of comprehensive services available to support her. She was determined to help others undergoing fertility treatment. Lisa has been with RMACT for eleven years and serves as Patient Advocate and the Strategic Content Lead.

Lisa is the teacher and founder of Fertile Yoga, a program designed to support men and women on their quest for their families through gentle movement and meditation.

Lisa’s true passion is supporting patients getting into treatment, being able to stay in treatment and staying whole and complete throughout the process. Lisa is also a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist, which is helpful in her work with fertility patients.

Her experience also includes working with RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association and The American Fertility Association (now Path2Parenthood), where she was Educational Coordinator, Conference Director and Assistant Executive Director.