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When a Pregnancy Fails, We Grieve - A Letter to a Father Blog Feature
Lisa Rosenthal

By: Lisa Rosenthal on January 30th, 2013

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When a Pregnancy Fails, We Grieve - A Letter to a Father


Pregnancy Loss and Facing Grief

Pregnancy Loss and GriefA friend shared this poem with me recently. She just suffered pregnancy loss, the loss of a much wanted, much longed for pregnancy. Her heart is broken and still she chooses to share her hope and dreams for next time. She showed up and let all of us know of her determination to have her baby, her family. 

This poem, she dedicated to her husband, who stands with her, hand in hand, and who she knows is grieving as well. 

It meant a lot to me that she shared it with me. I went to the website on which it was published and asked and recieved permission to reprint it. Their website's name is "Pregnancy Loss Australia" and you can click here to connect to them.


Written by Eileen Knight Hagemeister
to her son-in-law after his baby girl was born still


It must be very difficult
To be a man in grief,
Since "men don't cry" and "men are strong"
No tears can bring relief.


It must be very difficult
To stand up to the test
And field calls and visitors
So she can get some rest.


They always ask if she's all right
And what she's going through
But seldom take his hand and ask,
"My friend, but how are you?"


He hears her crying in the night
And thinks his heart will break
And dries her tears and comforts her
But "stays strong" for her sake.


It must be very difficult 
To start each day anew
And try to be so very brave ~
He lost his baby too. . .


Thank you to my friend who shared, to Eileen Knight Hagemeister who wrote this beautiful poem and to Pregnancy Loss Australia who is doing such compassionate work. 


About Lisa Rosenthal

Lisa has over thirty years of experience in the fertility field. After her personal infertility journey, she felt dissatisfied with the lack of comprehensive services available to support her. She was determined to help others undergoing fertility treatment. Lisa has been with RMACT for eleven years and serves as Patient Advocate and the Strategic Content Lead.

Lisa is the teacher and founder of Fertile Yoga, a program designed to support men and women on their quest for their families through gentle movement and meditation.

Lisa’s true passion is supporting patients getting into treatment, being able to stay in treatment and staying whole and complete throughout the process. Lisa is also a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist, which is helpful in her work with fertility patients.

Her experience also includes working with RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association and The American Fertility Association (now Path2Parenthood), where she was Educational Coordinator, Conference Director and Assistant Executive Director.